What the Heart Wants
by Luciddreamer326
Summary: Reyes is left to investigate a case with a rookie agent


What the heart wants  
  
Disclaimer:This story was written solely for the entertainment of me and perhaps someone elses. If you try and sue me you will get nothing. My mailbox is kinda cool and my dog Adam likes to wet tires so I really don't think you want what I have.  
  
Spoilers: nah don't think so. Basically ties in with this season. That is of course without the addition of my character.  
  
Classification: Mulder/Scully romance,Doggett/Reyes romance,case file,some humor  
  
Plot: A deadend case leaves Reyes investigating one with a "rookie" agent. When things start to get weird can they stay alive and save one another from the forces of the mind?  
  
Rating:hum...PG-15(my own made up rating) I don't think some of the language is for the kiddies. Also a tad bit of adult content/or themes.  
  
Notes:thanks to- my best friend Kris whom I think has forgotten me. Your weird and you inspire me. Love ya lots. Also as I sat watching the X files movie tonight(12/29/01) I can't help but wonder why Mulder and Scully didn't kiss. I still cringe at the sight of that damn bee and for the life of me I can't decide why it bothers me so. I guess I wanted to say "In ya face Chris Carter!" with my fic. That's why I love writing-you can tick off whoever you want.  
  
FBI Headquarters  
  
9:14 a.m.  
  
December 6, 2003  
  
John Doggett walked into his basement office. The "I want to believe" poster still adorned the wall. It had been through fires and partner changes yet still managed to greet whomever walked through the door. Doggett had stopped for coffee on the way down to talk with his partner, Monica Reyes. She was fatally beautiful. Her long dark brown hair matched her eyes and her dark skin. They had been assigned to the X files for about a year and had managed not to become front page news once.  
  
The FBI had started to worry that they were no longer conducting investigations, more simply writing something down that just happened to be plausible. OPR had suggested that another agent come to the project and work a case with both agents, strickly on an evaluation purpose.  
  
"So I suppose you heard the bad news?," a voice came. Doggett turned to see Reyes standing in the doorway. "Even better news is that you get the first case," he smiled. Reyes groaned."Why are they doing this to us?" "I think they think that something is going on down here," Doggett sighed. Reyes raised her eyebrows and smiled at her partner. He laughed and shook his head.  
  
"So who is she anyway?" Doggett questioned. "From what I have heard she is fresh out of Quantico," Reyes sighed. "What better way to get aquainted with the FBI than to get thrown on the X files first rattle out of the box. She must be a little firecracker," he laughed.  
  
FBI elevator to the basement  
  
"So Lawrence...How about an X files case?," I mummer in my best Skinner tone. I...I had a career going and boom! Now I'm stuck on the X files evaluating two agents who have been working longer than I have been born. The elevator jolts and the doors slide open. My heels clank on the floor as I walk to the X files office.  
  
I reach it and peek in. A tall man with pointy ears and brown hair is talking to a women with brown hair and dark skin. I knock and both of them look up. My eyes adjust and I see the female agent clearly for the first time. "Reyes is that you?" I question. Her eyes squint and try to discern me from the darkness. Note to self-get Reyes lightbulbs for Christmas. "Lawrence?" She walks over to me and grabs me, pulling me into a huge hug. I pat her on the back.  
  
"Wow so you are down here now," I smile. "Yeah me and John," she smiles pointing to the guy behind her. "Where are my manners. Kristin Lawrence," I say sticking a hand out. He grips it firmly and shakes. "John Doggett."  
  
"So what's the occassion," Reyes asks. I've been here five minuets and we are already on our first speedbump. "I can't believe that no one told you. I'm conducting the observation on you and Agent Doggett," I sigh. I withdraw my case file from under my arm. "We already have a case. Some local hunters in Ruidosa, New Mexico "claim" to have been attacked by some wild beast. They won't talk to local law enforcement, demanding an investigation by higher authorities," I explain.  
  
Reyes nods and Doggett shakes his head. "I hate to jump right in but I figure that you have better things to do than investigate crap cases with a rookie." Reyes looks at the file then at me."When does the flight leave?" "9:30 tomorrow," I say  
  
JFK Airport  
  
9:21 a.m.  
  
Ok yeah I am running late. I set off the metal detectors so I got delayed there. Then I missplaced my suitcase and finally found it in claims. I half run, half limp to Reyes who is sitting in a terminal chair reading. She smiles slightly when she sees my hair messed up and my sunglasses sliding slowly down my nose. "Please hold all remarks to yourself at the present moment," I sigh. "Actually I was just thinking how nice you look today," she says beneath her magazine.  
  
I look down at my clothes and realize that she is making a wisecrack. I throw my backpack off and plop down in the terminal chair beside her. "Whatcha reading? New issue of Playgirl out?," I smile grabbing my water bottle. She throws a sideways glance at me and raises her eyebrows. "Flight 731 is now getting ready to depart. All passengers please begin seating," the loudspeaker announces.  
  
"That's us," Reyes says grabbing a roll suitcase. That's all she brought? Light packer I guess. "Hey can you get the ticket out of my sidepocket in my backpack?," I grunt trying to not lose my cd player for the second time. She rumages around and withdraws my Puddle of Mudd cd. "Looks like I'm not the only one doing the porn thing," she smiles. I snatch the cd away and put it back in my bag.  
  
"Trust me if I was going to look at porn I would find something more sexually pleasing," I grunt. She shakes her head and walks towards the boarding gate. "Hey speaking of sexually pleasing how bout that hunk of a partner you work with? Is he a good ride?," I smile. Her cheeks blush and I can tell I've embarrased her. Oh hell, it's one of those once in a lifetime things. If you can get Reyes to blush your doing a big thing.  
  
We get seated and I decide to carry on with my pissing the hell out of her. "Hey you never answered me? Is Mr. Doggett full-filling all those dirty Monica Reyes sexual fantasies? Or is it a secret lust thing," I say. I get a glare this time and I can tell that she is bordering on humility and anger. "Maybe if you didn't put it in such a vulgar tone I might answer your damn questions," she grunts. I nod my head and sit for a few moments.  
  
I seriously want to know what she has been up to these past few years. "Ok then. Lay it on me," I sigh. She straightens in her seat and leans over to reduce the distance between us and anyone else in earshot. "Doggett and I are not having sex," she whisphers. I stare at her in awe. Maybe it's a look of stupidity. "That's all. Nothing else?," I whine. She shakes her head. "Do you ever think about it?," I press.  
  
She figits in her chair and looks at me. "I will say that the thought has crossed my mind," she says. "Well tell me about it. I mean hey if you can't tell me then who can you?" I smile. "I'm sure as hell not telling you," she grunts. "Oh come on Reyes! What kind of person do you think I am. Besides, I never talk to the guy!," I whispher coarsly. "You still have to work a case with him!," she yells back. Ok she has me there.  
  
"Look if you aren't telling me because you think that I'm not old enough your nuts. Half the girls in school lost their virginity freshman year! In high school! Believe me. I know what goes on and you couldn't stun me so much with your little dream as to render me speechless. It's not like I'm living in a damn cave! I'm twenty one! Personally I'd be a little worried if I didn't know all the details on sex," I tell her.  
  
The plane starts to take off and I grab my cd player on the floor. I've got 6 hours left to wear her down. There is no way that she can keep it from me.  
  
Las Cruses, New Mexico  
  
7 hours later  
  
  
  
"I'm speechless," Lawrence sighs as she follows me. Much to my surprise she just sat there when I told her my Doggett fantasy. She hadn't said a word for forty minuets until just a second ago. She throws on her backpack and gives me a funny look as we go to the luggage claim. "What?," I question. She scratches her head and shakes it. "You have too much free time on your hands," she says.  
  
I grab my bag and she follows me to the rental car. Too bad that this isn't where our trip ends. I have to put up with an awe-struck Lawrence for two more hours while we drive to Ruidosa. "So I rendered you speechless," I smile. "How could I not be?," she says handing me her suitcase. "Yeah and that one was just minor compared to my others," I smile. She chases after me and jumps in the car. "There's more?," she sqeaks. I nod and start down the highway.  
  
Ruidosa, New Mexico  
  
9:13 am  
  
December 8, 2003  
  
"No police, no freaky forest rangers. I have a major case of jet lag. Can we just wait until tomorrow," I plea. "We're burning daylight. The sooner we get started the sooner we get out of here," Reyes says. I hate the way she does her little sayings. You think that she would have grown out of that after four years. She pushes my shoulders and leads me out the door. I lock up my feet and drag them. "Quit acting like a little kid!," Reyes yells at me.  
  
"Hey that's what I basically am. I've just been old enough to consume an alcoholic beverage for 2 months," I grunt to her as I step into the car. "Big words there," she smiles. "Ok let me put it in Texan terms. I've been old enough to hava damn beer for a split second," I say in my best hick voice.  
  
"I'm so sure that they all talk like that," Reyes sighs. "I came from Texas! You callin me a liar?," I grunt. "Lawrence I'm from Texas. It's not like I've never heard a redneck before," she smiles. "I never knew that," I sigh. "Yeah. I was adopted by a couple and we lived in Mexico for a while. When I was seven we moved to Austin and I lived there until enrolling in the FBI," she tells me. Guess this really shows how much I know about her.  
  
"Ok here we are," she says pulling up to the police station. We get out and the sent of pine trees hits my nostrils. I enhale deeply but shiver when a cold wind rushes past. I look up and see the sky is overcast. We walk into the station to see a buch of overweight guys screaming at a television. I peek over one tall guy to see that they are watching a football game. I back away to Reyes and shrug my shoulders.  
  
"Gentlemen," Reyes says loudly. They all yell again and throw popcorn at the tv set. "Good to know that they are on top of things," I say in an amused voice. Suddenly I have an idea. "I have an idea of how to get their attention," I smile. "Ok how?," Reyes asks.  
  
4 1/2 minuets later  
  
"This is confining not to mention cold on the legs," Reyes grunts. I dressed her in a short skirt and a blue blouse, unbuttoned just low enough to show a little cleavage. I myself put on my leather pants and a black shirt to match. Reyes messes with her skirt, trying to pull it down. "What the hell are you doing! It took me a while to get it up that high!," I grunt. Instead of moving down it is slowly inching up. Reyes has a nice figure and I'm sure that she will render these boys speechless like she did me.  
  
"Hey gentlemen! Can we get a little help here!," I yell. One turns around with a glare that slowly changes when he sees us. "Hot damn," he whisphers. Others turn around and get the same look. "Now if one of you be so kind as to help us," I sigh. They all flock to me and Reyes. "Anything we can do to help,"one says with a smile.  
  
"Special Agent Monica Reyes there and I am Special Agent Kristin Lawrence. We got a call in Washington that said you fellas needed a little bit of help," I smile."What's going on here," a voice says from behind the crowd. The officers part. I peek around one to see a guy with spikey hair and glasses. His eyes widen when he sees me. Not bad for a police officer. "Can I help you to ladies?,"he gulps. "Yeah thank goodness," I say parting the guys again. Me and Reyes shuffle out and go into the young guys office.  
  
He closes the door. "Well now. You are the two FBI agents they sent us," he smiles sitting behind his desk. I bet he's a little older than me. Wonder is he would be a good date. "Yeah," I say, nodding my head. "Well if you would like to go talk to the guys I can arrange that," he sighs. "Sounds great,"Reyes nods. "I think that we are in for a snow so you may want to put on some warmer clothes," he smiles to me as we walk out the door. Reyes heads on to the car to get her old clothes.  
  
"We only did this to get their attention," I sigh to him. "No need for an explanation," he smiles. "Just wouldn't want you to catch a cold before we had the time to chat over a nice meal."  
  
"Huh?," I say. "You know that is if you want to. I mean I'll give you my number and all and you can call when you have the time or something," he says shuffling his feet. He hands me a peice of paper and looks at me. "When the case is wrapped I'd love to," I smile. "How old are you?," I say after a few seconds. "Twenty one," he whisphers.Mental note to brain:hottie  
  
In the middle of the forest  
  
  
  
"They live just over there," Tristin sighs. That's his name. Even better it rhymes with mine. I'm cheesy about that kind of stuff. I blow a puff of cold air and cover my ears with my toboggan. We reach an old wooden shack that is dark inside. I walk up the steps and knock. No one answers. I push on the door and it creaks open. The house has three rooms- a kitchen, living room, and one bedroom. Navajo rugs and artifacts lie around. The place is still warm so these mystery men haven't been gone long.  
  
I hear a noise behind me and freeze. "What was that?," I whispher. Reyes and Tristin look around and shake their heads. I run onto the front porch and see some sort of hairy creature running towards a clearing ahead. I start to run after it but stop. Ok this is smart. I am going after something that could eat me and I don't have a gun. I run to Reyes and fling her trenchcoat open, withdrawing her FBI issued peice of crap gun. I hall ass through pine trees after the thing.  
  
After a little ways when I am right on the things heels the head falls off. I pick it up to see that it is a mask. This is a big scam! The guy wearing the suit looks frightened then runs away. "You stupid shit! I can't believe you got me out here to chase your sorry ass! I'll have you paying my damn travel bills when I get hold of you!," I scream after him. I walk a little ways more and stop. The temperature has dropped rapidly and snow flurries are beginning to fall. "I wanna go home,"I whine to myself.  
  
  
  
Lincoln National Forest  
  
3:26 p.m.  
  
Those bastards! I chased some guys in masks out to the middle of nowhere. That whole thing is still pissing me off. I jump when my cell phone rings. "Lawrence! Did you find those guys?" Reyes grills. "Hey yeah. It was just a bunch of morons dressed up in masks. There is no wild beast. They called us out here to attract news. Their tourism has had a steady decline the past few months and they needed something to boost the economy," I yell to the other end of the cell. "Then there is no case?" Reyes questions.  
  
"Nope nothing,"I sigh. My phone crackles and goes dead. "Dammitt!," I scream. My voice echoes off of the trees and bounces back, hitting my ears. "This bites," I sigh to myself. I trip over a rock and and watch it tumble down the small slope. My eyes widen when I see it disappear. There's something you don't see every day. I halfway run, halfway slide down the hill.  
  
I pull out my GPS and mark the spot. Just curious to what will happen,I stick my hand out. It is sucked in by some vortex. My fingers are stung by an icy coldness and I withdraw my hand quickly. "No freakin way," I sigh. Ok I'm supposed to be the wild one and the fact that I know Reyes wouldn't go into that thing makes me want to all the more. I'm spontaneous so, I jump into it.  
  
  
  
"Kristin! Honey! Didn't you say that you were going to drop this off at your grandmothers!," a women yells. I open my eyes sharply when I recognize the voice. I'm in my room and the t.v. is going. My bay window is propped open and a cool summer breeze flutters the curtains. I run out the door and bump into my mother. "Hey there. You have been in that room to long. I think that it is time to get some sunshine." She hands me a basket. "Mom," I sigh. She looks behind her then back at me. She starts messing with her hair then smiles. "Something wrong?" "Mom," I repeat. She looks at me funny. Yeah mom that's right, your kid is a nutball. Took you 16 years to figure that out? Whoa! Wait a second. My mom had been dead for four years. Now she is standing here talking to me as if it were yesterday. I look up at the calender. August 29, 1998-she's not dead nor is my father. I grab the basket and pull her into a hug. "Your hurting me Kristin," she weezes. I smile. "I'll be back in a bit," I whispher. She backs away and smiles. I trot to the door and she calls to me. "Send your gramma all my love." "Most def mom," I smile.  
  
When I step out on the porch sunlight cascades onto my body and I sheild my eyes. I must not be a day person still. I look next door to see my Spanish teacher I had my Junior year. "What the hell is going on here," I say walking over to the hedges. This maybe a nightmare. My Junior year sucked. Yep she looks pretty much like I remember her...in school that is. Geez last time I saw her since I moved she was shedding her bra to a rap song and dancing on top of a table for like ten bucks. Funny how things change when you get sucked into...something.  
  
She finally sees me staring and stands up, dusting the dirt off of her jeans. "I didn't know you lived next door to me,"she smiles. Yeah neither did I. I scratch my head. "I don't make it much of a point to come outside," I smile. She nods."Yeah I noticed." We stand and stare at one another for a few seconds in an odd silence. "So you still teaching?" I question. She looks at me funny.  
  
"Yeah. You were in my class today remember?" I look down at my hand to see a senior ring. "I'm really a junior...no child prodigy," I whispher. I reach out and grab her shoulders. "I'm not smart!," I scream. She gives me a bewildered look and I stop. "Sorry," I sigh ducking my head. She nods and then puts a hand to my head. "Your a really great kid but sometimes you puzzle me and I do me REALLY puzzle me. You feeling ok?," she asks. "Yeah," I smile.  
  
Inn of the Mountain Gods  
  
  
  
"Kristin hasn't called me in an hour. We got cut off," I tell John. "Maybe she got preoccupied," he says. Wouldn't be the first time and damn sure not the last. She's like that though. She has the attention span of a fly. "She'll be ok and I am sure she'll call too," he assures me. "I hope so," I sigh. "Call me back when you get a hold of her," he says. "Will do," I say punching off the phone. "Where are you, you little twerp!"  
  
10:24 pm  
  
August 29,1998  
  
  
  
"Ok my parents died in a car wreck on May 23, 1999. But none of this stuff happened. I was in college, not in high school," I sigh to myself. "Lights out. You have school tomorrow," my mom says coming in. I look up and she raises her eyebrows. "Don't give me that look. Bedtime," she smiles, pulling the covers over my head. I rip them down. "I can't sleep mom!," I whine. "Yeah well try," she says. My light flickers off when she hits the switch. I fall back on my pillows and she turns to walk out. "Mom?" She turns around and looks at me. "I....I love you," I stammer.  
  
Ok that was never really hard back in the day. Because I didn't ever say it before. I don't know why I am the way I am. Saying I love you has never been a big thing with me. And affection is something I rarely gave and hated to recieve. It was always like I had to be tough and be strong just in case something did happen. I had to train myself not to crack under certain conditions. Basically I built a wall around my heart and never let anyone get too close. "Love you to honey," she whisphers. I don't know when I feel asleep but all of a sudden it was apon me.  
  
"Crap!," I scream. I wake up because I have a stick poking me in my back. I lie on the ground for a second and stare upward. The stars are really beautiful tonight...oh geez!! I'm still in the forest. Reyes is going to kill me! I sit upright quickly but double over from a cearing pain in my abdomen. I feel like I have been hit by a truck. I manage to get up, limp to the car, and drive back to the hotel that Reyes and I are staying at.  
  
I open her door and walk in. "Where have you been!," she screams. I motion my hand for her to shut up, and surprisingly it works. I walk over to the bed that she is sitting on and fall down beside her. "You look like hell," she says with a look of disgust. Real conforting. It's one of those faces that...someone would make if they were looking at cow brains or maggotts.  
  
"I have a headache," I grunt. She sniffs of me. "Yeah you stink too. What have you been doing? Rolling around in the dirt?" She stands up and goes into the bathroom. I hear the faucet start to run and she re-enters with a wet rag. She puts it on my head and I sigh.  
  
"Bad day?," she questions. "Yes and no," I grunt. I slowly prop up on my elbows and look at her. "I found something in the forest when I was chasing those morons. I have to show you tomorrow," I smile. "Big," she asks. I nod. "Yeah you could say that."  
  
December 9, 2003  
  
4:34 p.m.  
  
  
  
"This is the place," I tell her holding out my GPS. She shakes her head and gives me a funny look. "I don't see anything," she grunts. I roll my eyes at her. "You know for one of those people who is an anti-"seeing is believing"person you sure don't give a person much room to work with. This thing is hidden. You can't see it with the naked eye. You have to feel it, get inside it," I explain. She thinks I'm a nutball and the feeling is absolutly mutual. I've been picking up brochures at all the looney bins I go to. If I get comitted, I want to go to a really good one. Maybe I'll give them to Reyes as a gag.  
  
"Stick your hand up right...there," I say looking at my GPS. "Please Kristin. I don't have time for this," she pleads. "Oh yeah like you have something better to do," I retort. "Trust me. This is worth it." She starts to walk away but trips and falls back. "Reyes!," I scream. I don't have time to reach her because she falls back into the vortex. There is a blinding flash of light and she is gone. I try to run into it but am thrown back on my butt. "Looks like your on your own Reyes," I groan dusting off my clothes.  
  
  
  
Inside the vortex  
  
My eyes snapped shut when I tripped on those rocks. Oddly enough I didn't fall. My body is hot and a cool breeze touchs my legs. I slowly open my eyes to see that I am standing in my partners bathroom with a black nightgown on. It's short and hugs my body, exposing every curve and indention. This is really weird. "What the hell is going on,"I sigh. My feet plop on the cold tiles as I cross the bathroom. I push the door open a little ways to see that John is lying in bed asleep. I walk over to him and just stare. I'm not sure what I feel for this man. Can it be love that strikes me every time he walks by?  
  
"Oh my God what have I done," I whispher. A hand comes up to grab me and pulls me down to the bed. I am on the bottom of John Doggett. A part of me is excited yet scared. "You haven't done anything yet," he whisphers. He smiles and kisses my ear. "Stop me now Monica. Once I start I won't be able to stop." How many nights have I dreamed of this, longed to feel his touch,have him hold me like this.  
  
"Put your hands on me," I whispher putting his hands on my breast.My mouth ascends to his. He kisses me long and deep. This has to be a dream. I have to get out. But...I can't. Not with him holding me, and kissing me, and doing everything I have ever dreamed of. Even when my nightgown goes over my head, I can't think of any reason why I shouldn't enjoy this.  
  
In the woods  
  
"Come on you bastards burn!," I grunt to my marshmallows. I knew that once Reyes got inside that thing she'd stay for a while. My mind can't help but wonder what she is seeing. I saw my parents and they acted as if none of this life I am living now had happened. Could this place show you what you want? That which one desires the most? Could it pry into the heart and mind and make that which is only a dream become a reality?  
  
Ok...too deep there for a second. So if I were Reyes what would I want? More money? Nope..she once told me that she loves her job and wouldn't trade it for the world. She's a hard women to...OH MY GOD!! If I spent every day down in a dark basement that smelled like mildew why would I continue to be exposed to such condtions when I could do much better?  
  
I'd have to have some REALLY good reason to go through it all, day in and day out. John Doggett. Reyes wants what she can't have-a piece of John Doggett. "I'm a freakin genuis," I smile to myself.  
  
  
  
"I don't want this to ever end," I whispher to him. He kisses me tenderly. "It doesn't have to," he says. I carress his face. "I feel like this is all a dream," I laugh. "That's because it is," a women says. My eyes shoot open and I see Lawrence, sitting with her legs crossed eating a marshmallow. "What...I mean how?,"I cry. She gets up and walks over to her backpack. She pulls out two bottled waters and throws one to me.  
  
"You lost consiousness aka you took a snoozy and BOING! Here you are with me," she smiles. I stumble over some rocks but look back to where I came out. "What is that?," I ask sitting down on a rock. "Best I can figure it's some sort of vortex that shows you your deepest desires. That which you want but for so many reasons can't have in this reality. Did I mention you look craptastic?,"she questions.  
  
I look down to see that my clothes have been ripped slightly and my head is killing me. "No," I whispher. She stares at me funny,shruggs her shoulders, then opens a bag of skittles. She grabs her backpack and puts it on her shoulders. "Lets jet," she tells me. I follow her gaze up to the sky. The sun is setting through the mountains and the nights air is already singing through the trees. "The sun is setting pretty fast. We better get out of here before it gets dark,"She sighs. She pulls a gun out of her pocket which I finally see is mine.  
  
She cocks it back then puts the safety on. "If we don't get out in time I'm ready." I look at her and cut my eyes. "That's my gun. Where did you get it?" She looks down at her hands. "Oh...yeah well I got it from you before you went in. I mean who knows what you saw in there. I didn't want you to get hurt," she smiles. Only is she were truely compassionate.  
  
The next morning(sort of)  
  
2:45 a.m.  
  
I woke up when I fell off my bed. I'm surprised I even lasted as long as I did. I kept having these dreams about being in that thing. It's like they were trying to lure me back there, trying to get me to go back and get some message my parents had forgotten to share with me. Reyes made groaning sounds all night which wasn't all too pleasant either. I think that she kept repeating "John!" but I'm not sure because it was pretty muffled. Also her being in the bed next to me half naked is sort of distracting. You'd think that she'd can her normal sleeping habits when she is on a case. Hum...wonder if she does this with Doggett?  
  
Anyway she is the last of my concerns. It sounds bad I know but I have better things to do than sit up all night and figure out what she is dreaming about. Might be kinda funky but like I said, I have better things to do. I packed another backpack and stole Reyes' gun again. So here I am now standing in front of the door, wondering if I have forgot anything.  
  
Yep...a way to get out there. Guess I have to snatch the car keys too. I use the word snatch because Reyes would never let me go alone. And I do respect her! It's just sometimes in life you have to let go of other people's coat-tail and do your own thing. I'd do anything for Reyes except give up a chance to see my parents again.  
  
10 minuets later  
  
My GPS buzzes at me which means that I am getting close. I look into the clearing and put my flashlight up. I take a few steps then cold air hits me. I can't help but shiver. Is something trying to keep me from being here. Is someone trying to scare me? If they are its working. I open my eyes and see that I am standing by a white car with keys in my hands. So...is it mine? I check my watch to see that is time for me to go to school in this fake life. This should be interesting.  
  
I always hated the punks who picked on me. The only people that were even halfway decent were the teachers and even some of them hated me. My favorite was Ms. Copeland. She taught me Drama. I always had to be the little kid in all the plays since I wasn't big enough to try out for anything else. "I'm normal though now," I smile and get into my car.  
  
Inn of the Mountain Gods  
  
Ruidosa, New Mexico  
  
7:21 a.m.  
  
  
  
I'm still groggy from my sleep. It was really cold last night but mine and Kristin's room was really cozy. Normally I wouldn't complain but I'd rather have had my own room. They pitched me that lame excuse about being on a budget. I'm not used to having someone stay with me so I accidently forgot and used my own method of getting to sleep. Clothes are just...binding. I glance over to Kristin's bed to see that she is still asleep. Maybe she didn't notice I was almost naked.  
  
I pull the covers over me and reach for my shirt that is in a pile on the ground. My hand grazes it and I yank it up and over my head. "Kristin. Hey wake up," I say. She doesn't move. Must have had a long night. "Hey kid get up. We have a flight to catch later on this afternoon. You need to pack," I grunt pulling the covers off of...a pillow. It has been molded to resemble a shape that looks like a body...sort of. She must have snuck out after I woke up at 2:30. "I'm going to kill her!," I scream.  
  
7:30 am  
  
  
  
Ah yes. Reyes should be waking up right now for her orange juice and morning run. I laugh to myself. That or she has the local PD and FBI assembled for a manhunt. I myself am more worried about school-in an excited way though. "Kristin!" I turn around to see my Drama teacher running to the door with various books and a huge bag. "Let me help you with that," I smile taking a book from under her arm and a bag from her shoulder.  
  
"You figured out what part your going to try out for?," she questions. I shake my head. "Nope still thinking," I smile. She nods and chunks all her books onto a desk nearby. "Thanks for the help," she sighs. "Yeah anytime," I reply. The hallway is packed and I wiggle my way through traffic. Well I suppose I just go to the same classes I had my junior year when I was 12. This should be easy, nothing to worry about.  
  
I walk into Spanish class and am greeted by my teacher aka next door neighbor. I shudder. That is still going to give me the heebie-geebies. "Hola Senorita Lawrence. Como esta?" Ok well I still remember what that means. Maybe I can pull this whole friendly greeting thing off. "Muy bien. Y tu?" I question. "Muy bien, gracias," she smiles. "Yeah. De nada," I nod going to sit in my seat.  
  
The bell rings and the rest of the class files in. This is freaky. Everything is just as it was. I even have the same assholes in my class I did back in the day. "Prestar atencion," Ms. Jacobson yells. This is crazy. I have a car and a normal life. Is this what I wanted? Yearned for in my heart all these years?  
  
9:21 am  
  
"John please get out here. It's like trying to herd a rabid cow," I sigh. "Oh it's your "out west" talk. You only use that when you mad or worried," he laughs. "More like scared. She just left and now I don't know where she's at," I complain. He sits a moment and then starts again.  
  
"Ok...So hows this different from any other time," he says. "Didn't you say that she found some kind of vortex? That thing that took you to another world? Maybe she went back to that." Sounds plausible. "Maybe. I would go out there but she took my gun and the car. Besides it's crazy out here."  
  
"Tell you what. I'll try to make it out there as soon as possible and we can all figure out what that thing is once and for all," he says. "Thanks John," I whispher. "No problem Monica."  
  
  
  
5:41 pm  
  
August 30,1998  
  
"Hey punk. Nice shirt you have on there," someone behind me snorts. Only one person could have that much of an annoying voice. I turn around to see none other than my high school rival, Lauren, with her band of slut sisters. They all have their arms crossed and Lauren is tapping her feet. She's dissing my Limp Bizkit shirt I bought the other day at that Goth shop. "I think all that high dollar perfume is seeping into your brain," I sigh turning around to walk off.  
  
"Don't you turn your back on me! You know why I am here," she yells. "Actually I'm beginning to wonder," I say angrily, walking up to her. "I saw you and Todd talking. He totally has the hots for you," she whines. Geez when did some kind words and a nice convo become a lust thing? "Your over-reacting," I grunt. I take a few more steps and am slammed into a pole.  
  
"Your a freak, We don't like freaks in our school," she whisphers. Her fist collides with my stomach. I weeze and fall to the pavement. She uppercuts me and busts my nose. I'm left on the ground and she wipes her hands. "Loser," she smiles. She spits and it lands between two of my fingers. "What a freak," they all say in unison. I jump up and trap Lauren on the shoulder. She turns around and I grab her by the shirt collar and slam her into a brick wall.  
  
Her feet dangle and I see her other "friends" run away. Blood from a gash in my arm trickles down to my fingers and spots them up. My nose drips blood onto Lauren's shirt. Bet that was 75 bucks. "You," I whispher, "Do not want to piss me off." She whimphers slightly and I can tell that I am choking her. I throw her over beside a trashcan and she breaths heavily. "Don't ever come near me again," I grunt angrily. I can feel her eyes burn into my back as I walk off.  
  
The street lights flicker on and I speed up to get home. The breeze of the night hits my arms and I shiver. When I reach my house I sling the door open and run into the bathroom to wash the blood from my nose and arm off. The gash in my arm is pretty deep. When Lauren threw me down I cut it on a beer bottle lying in the street.  
  
I groan when I touch it with a wet rag. "What's wrong," my mom questions. I look up to see her staring akwardly. "I got nailed by a few school girls who have it in for me," I sigh. "You fought at school?" "No mom. They beat me up on the way home. I was coming in from play practice." She rakes her fingers through my hair. "I'll put some medicine on those cuts,"she sighs. "You get to bed."  
  
I walk into my room and but on my pj's. Boy this day didn't go quite as I had planned. I came here to spend time with my family and I didn't do it. Next time I guess. My mom comes in with a bottle of peroxide and rubs it on the gash on my arm. I sigh and slowly drift to sleep.  
  
  
  
"Oh my God! Lawrence!," I hear someone yell. I can't open my eyes, can't move. "Get the med team over here quick," a man's voice yells. Hands prod me and wiggle me to see if I'm alive. "Take her to the ER," someone else says. Someone is fumbling with my arm and I feel a sharp poke. I can tell it's a women because she has soft hands and I recognize the purfume. "IV started. Get her there quick," she yells. It's Scully. Who knows why she came here. I'm lifted upwards and then carried away. Doors slam and I start to move away from the forest.  
  
  
  
The abulances took Lawrence away a few minuets ago. John, Dana, and I were left in the forest. None of us have said anything to one another. "So where's it at?," Scully asks. "Right here," I reply. She looks around and then back at me. "I don't see anything," she sighs. "Look you can't see it but it's there. I've been inside it," I tell her. John and her both raise their eyebrows. "So what's inside of it and how do you get out," John asks. "It shows you what you want to see and when you fall asleep it throws you back out." They both stand a few seconds and then Scully walks toward it.  
  
"What are you doing Dana?," John sighs. "I'm going in it. As for you two I'm not sure," she retorts. John runs after her and stops her. "Are you sure?" She puts a hand on his and smiles. "Yeah sure." My blood boils when I see them like this. I mean I am not mad at her because she couldn't possible know how I feel. On the other hand he doesn't know either but I have sent out so many clues that I am interested in him.  
  
"You too Monica," he smiles,"I wouldn't have gotten this far if you had been by my side the entire time." I nod and we all walk to the edge of the vortex. In one swift motion we are all in.  
  
  
  
Lights flash on my eyelids and I open them quickly. "Is the baby asleep yet?" a man's voice asks. I look down to see William asleep in my arms. We are not at my house though. Something...somewhere different. My thoughts are interupted when Mulder plops down beside me on the couch. Oh God-It's him... Just like the day I last saw him. Puppy dog hazel eyes and a handsome smile.  
  
"Mulder," I whispher. He picks up William and carries him into which I suppose is his room. He pads back to the couch and sits down, putting a hand over mine. My heart has ached for this man for so long. I want to touch him, make sure that this is not a dream. My hand goes to his face, tracing every curve.  
  
"You act as if I'm new to you," he whisphers. "Everytime I touch you it's like the first," I sigh. I lean in and kiss him softly. He breaks away after a while and kisses my neck. "Come to bed," he whsiphers in my ear. His hands play with mine and then he puts them over his heart. A large ring shines on my finger and on his. Our love has been professed. We are one.  
  
  
  
"John is that you?" I turn around to see Monica in an apron and a cute little house dress. "What's going on? Where are we," I ask looking frantically every which way. "This place is a dream world. A place for ones deepest desires, what you want most," she explains.  
  
"So this is your dream," I question. The door opens and a little kid runs to hug Monica. Her mouth drops when she sees who it is. "Who is.." I start. "Mommy," the child says. He then turns to me and I sake my head when I see who it is. Luke...my boy. My little boy. I walk over to him and grab him into a large hug. But he called Monica mom. I look up at her. "Your my wife," I sigh to her. "This is your dream," she smiles.  
  
  
  
I'm supposed to have my own fantasy! Although this isn't all that bad. I'm John's wife and his son Luke is alive. But Luke called me mom. That must mean that John wished that his previous marriage hadn't taken place meaning...that Luke is mine and his together.  
  
"Daddy can I go play while mommy fixes me and you some lunch," Luke asks. He kisses his dad on the cheek and then runs out the door. I turn around and walk into the kitchen. After a little bit I feel someone's eyes on me. Turning around I see John in the doorway. He smiles slighly and then looks at his feet. "I'm not sure I quite believe all of this," he sighs.  
  
"Don't doubt it," I say shaking my head, "You have to enjoy every moment of what you are seeing, that is if you like what you are seeing." He nods. "Well I'm liking what I'm seeing so far," he smiles. I raise my eyebrows at him and then finish my salad.  
  
10:01 pm  
  
The screen flickers with some Christmas show Luke insisted that we watch. I had been leaning on John for quite some time. He has his arm around the back of my head but he moves it quickly when I start to set up. I guess he thought I feel asleep. The show starts to roll the credits and John raises up, sitting Luke on his lap. "Time for bed," he sighs. Geez I thought he'd never say it. "Wait daddy. I need to ask you something," he says. Luke sits a second and then sighs. "How come you and mommy haven't kissed today. You usually do when you come home for lunch and when we all go to bed. Is something worng?"  
  
I feel my heart constrict in my chest. He wants us to kiss? "Well," John starts," I think we can do something about that." He motions for me to move in closer and I do. My mind always had this picture of what our first kiss would be like if it ever came. This is definantly not one of them. John leans over and puts his lips on mine. He moves slightly and then just when I am getting used to the feeling, he pulls away. I sigh and I think he sees that I am dissapointed it wasn't longer.  
  
Luke smiles. "That was good. Goodnight you two." He jumps up and runs to the stairs. John leans back into the couch and sighs. "I'm going to get ready for bed," I whispher.  
  
  
  
Our room is very nice. Sort of a Japanese decor but very elegant. I rumage through my nightstand and manage to find a gown that goes all the way to my feet. Not the type that is too plain but it's not fancy either. If I wore clothes at night, it's probably be something like this. I get it on just before John walks in.  
  
He looks me up and down then walks to the bed. "Nice," he says. I look at him to see that he has already found his sleeping spot for the night. I grab a pillow off the bed and start to walk out the door. "I'll take the couch tonight," I sigh. He gets up and garbs me by the shoulder. "Hey stay. There's enough room in that bed for the both of us, plus one." He can't be serious.  
  
"Don't look at me like that. I'm serious. Besides what will Luke think if he wakes up and sees you on the couch. It'll upset him. He thinks we're married. We have to at least act like we are for the sake of him." I stare into his eyes. "How do you do that?" I question. "Hey who better to know you than who you work with," he smiles. He takes me by the hand and leads me to the bed. I crawl in and he covers me up then kisses my cheek. "Goodnight," he says.  
  
John circles around the the other side of the bed then gets under the covers. I lie on my back staring at the ceiling. We are both lying on our backs and trying to avoid one another. He brings his hands to the top of the covers, but in the process, hits my breast. "Sorry," he whisphers. He taps his fingers on the sheets and sighs heavily.  
  
"I can't sleep," I tell him. He nods. "Yeah me neither." This is crazy. We have done some stupid stuff together and both been embarassed by the other. It's ridiculous to think that I've known him six years and we can't even talk about... "Is there something between us? You know...back in the real world," he blurts out. Talk about coming out of nowhere.  
  
I sit up on my elbows. "I don't know. Is there?" He shakes his head and we sit in silence for a moment. "This is gonna sound crazy but they say it works." "What do you have on your mind," I question. "Well we can kiss, you know, really kiss. Some people say that if you try it sometimes you can tell if something is there or not." This is high school stuff but I do see some meaning behind it.  
  
"John I don't," I stammer. "Hey look we can do this. Your my best friend Monica," he assures me. "Are you sure you wat to," I question. I'm not sure what I am expecting, him to say "gross!" or worst of all...say nothing at all.  
  
  
  
Ruidosa General Hospital  
  
7:34 pm  
  
"You expect me to eat this?" I grunt staring into a bowl of mush. My doctor nods and crosses his arms. He is seriously kidding me. "Ok I want to get better," I tell him. My spoon collides with the mush and I bring it to my mouth. I think it's mashed potatoes or wait...is that oatmeal? Maybe it's oatmeal that tastes like mashed potatoes. Whatever it is it's rank. "Yum," I smile nodding. He glares and me then turns around and slams the door behing him.  
  
I roll my IV into the bathroom and spit what I have in my mouth into the toliet. The rest of the crap in my bowl goes in afterwords. Hospitals suck but for some reason I can't seem to stay out of them. I thought Reyes would have come to visit me by now, you know to gripe me out for almost killing myself.  
  
"Ms.Lawrence?," a voice from my room asks. Oh crap. If it's a doctor coming to see if I ate all of that mush then I am busted. I stuff the pan behind the toliet and walk to the door to see who it is. I peek out of the door to see three guys looking for me. One is bald and is really short. He has on glasses and black gloves. Beside him is a guy with a moustach. He looks like an FBI agent from the suit . I deduct that they aren't when I reach the third man.  
  
He has on a Korn shirt and old worn out tennis shoes. His black glasses are almost covered by his long, stringy, blonde hair. Sort of a left over hippee one could say. I open the door and they all turn their heads in unison. Musta been working on that one. "Yeah what's up," I ask. They all glance at one another agin then at me. "Kristin Lawrence?," the blad one asks. "Yeah that's me," I nod. "Who are you?"  
  
"Friends of Scully," the one in the suit smiles. "I'm Byars, that's Frohike, and Langly over there." Hey I know these guys. "You three are the lone gunmen!," I smile. "Oh you've heard of us," Langly smiles. "Yeah you guys tried to sneek in at that restricted convention a few years ago at Vegas. You uncovered that anti-histamine scandal," I tell them.  
  
"That was anoetic-histamine," Byars corrects me. Sure, fine, whatever. "Ok well what can I do for you fine gentlemen today?," I ask. "Scully wanted us to review your charts ," Frohike says. "Why?," I grunt, walking to sit down on my hospital bed. They all look at one another. I am beginning to think that they are robots or something and have this silent language thing going on that only they can hear.  
  
"You have low white and red blood cell counts as well as scar tissue around your heart and lungs. Have you had any operations," Frohike asks. I shake my head. "No why?" "Well basically damage to this degree would have to be cause by serveral operations. Basically you have the body of a forty year old," he says. That explains the pain in my joints I guess. "So what are you saying," I ask him.  
  
"Whatever you went into slowly sucked the life out of you. It fed off of your energy and drained you when you were happy. You should be dead but something kept it from killing you," Byars explains. I look at the gash on my arm. "I got beat up last time I went in," I whispher. "That's why. It likes to torchure whoevers inside. For a period of time it sustains a scene in which you are happy and then it introduces a situation that would cause pain," Frohike sighs.  
  
"Could this be a painful pain or maybe even a pleasure pain?," I ask. "Huh?," Langly says making a face. "Could the pain that a person is feeling be that of pleasure. Perhaps uh..let's say two people who aren't in their prime anymore doing the naked pretzel?" They all laugh loudly. "Boy Scully told us you were a little firecracker but she didn't mention you had a Mulder side," Byars smiles. Hey with Scully teaching me forensics and patholgy for a year I can't help but be a little messed up.  
  
"So about this pleasure pain. Does it involve the scrumpcious agent Scully?," Frohike asks. I shake my head. "No not directly. I was talking about Reyes and Doggett. I mean I guess it could affect Scully as well. Totally depends on what she saw when she went in," I explain. "It's different for whoever goes in," Langly questions. "Yeah it shows you what you want to see, that which your heart desires most. When I went in I saw my parents who dies a few years back when I was in college," I tell them.  
  
"Well uh...this is new. If Doggett and Reyes are engaging in..." Byars stops and looks at me. Yeah lets be careful what we say around the little kid. "Sexual intercourse then they too are in danger." "We have to get to them," I sigh. I start to walk off but am jerked back by my IV. "You are in no condition to go and look for them," Frohike says. I slowly pull the IV from my arm and they all whince. "Yeah neither are any of you," I grunt."Let's go."  
  
Inside the Vortex  
  
His lips are on mine. I move my head to keep up with him. His hands rest on my arms and I pull away. We both stare at one another. "John I don't know how you feel about me but, I...I care for you more than I could ever say," I tell him.  
  
My hands go to his face. He puts his hand over mine and then let's go. "Tell me what to do," he whisphers. "Touch me," I sigh. His touch is like fire throught the fabric of my gown. He kisses my throat and all the way up to my face. His lips finally capture mine. Thank the lord for dreams. I feel more alive now than I ever have. Part of me feels guilty for doing this here instead of the real world.  
  
The other half never wants this to end. My gown is soon over my head and other clothes are slowly shed into the floor into a pile until we are both naked. Moans fill the night air. Sweat clings to every part of my body and I shiver. The pain is drowned by the pleasure and happiness I am feeling right now.  
  
3:26 pm  
  
"That was masterful,"Frohike laughs looking back at the security guard. Their van speeds up and peels out on the corner."Ive been in too many hospitals not to know how to escape from one," I smile. "You'd make a kick ass addition to the gunmen," Langly says. I look over at him and give him a funny look. "Then it'd seem pretty crazy to be called the lone gunmen," I smile. "Well we could change it to three guys, a girl, and a 1978 Volkswagon van," he laughs. "Tell you what. We the FBI starts to suck really bad I'll look you guys up. Until then save me a spot," I laugh.  
  
We turn and start down the dirt road toward the vortex. "Hey pull over here," I tell Byars pointing to the spot where we are going to have to hike a ways. This reminds me of Charlie's Angels that is of course minus two angels. I slid open the door and pull on my backpack and sunglasses. I fight my way through pine trees and one slaps Frohike in the face. "Ow!,"he yells.  
  
"Sorry," I sigh. "You know based on what you have told us I have dreamed up my own fantasy," Langly announces. "I've got tickets to the next Korn tour and a carload of hot chicks to take with me. Not to mention a couple thousand bucks to waste on some cheap stripers pre-show," he explains. I roll my eyes. "Really beautiful," I mumble.  
  
"What about you Byars?," I ask. "Well I met this women once and I'd like to see her again," he says sheepishly. Out of the whole thirty five minuets I've known him, he seems to be the only level headed one of the group. "My fantasy starts with me lounging in a hot tub," Frohike smiles. "I'm relaxing then all of a sudden the door flies open and in walks Scully wearing.." "Down boy," I yell back to him. "Does she ever talk about me?," he asks.  
  
Well uh. Counting the time I'm sure she included you when she said the word lone gunmen? That brings the grand total to one. "Oh yeah all the time. Hey she said that if her IMac ever breaks you'd be the first one she calls," I tell him. Hey it sounded good in my head. "What about that software program I gave her a few months ago," he questions. "Uh she said it was nicely packaged?," I reply. That came out more a question than an answer. He doesn't notice though.  
  
"You hear that gents. She likes my package," he beams. I'll have to answer for that one later on. I get major brownie points for intent though. "Ok here it is," I annouce when we come up to the clearing. It's empty so I'm assuming Scully, Doggett, and Reyes are still in there. There's water around the entrance like a small pond. "Uh that's new," I sigh. Where are they at and what's going on?  
  
Mulder and I got a blanket and went outside. For the last hour I've had my head on his chest while he points out constellations. "That's Orion and over there is Leo," he whisphers. I love spending time with him like this. I'm so happy right now that I never want to go back to the real world. "Scully," Mulder asks nudging me. "Hum," I answer. "I just want to tell you that I love you. I want to spend the rest of life you but not here," he says. My eyes widen and raise up to look at him.  
  
"What," I stammer. "You can't stay here. This...dream. It's killing you. Sucking the life out of you slowly. You have to go back. I understand what we have been through these past few months but I will find a way to be with you Scully. Just not here, not now," he says standing up. I cling to his hand but he wiggles free of my grasp and walks away. "Mulder!," I scream. No one answers. I fall to my knees and sob.  
  
"No!," I gasp sitting upright. I look over to see Mulder wrapped around my body naked. It was all a dream. I run my hands down his chest and stare at him for the longest time. Finally I lie my head back down on him and slowly drift back to sleep.  
  
  
  
4:01 pm  
  
"Hey look, the water is evaporating," Byars yells to me. I jump up and look over the hill. It is pushing backward in wave-like motions. We all look at one another and then a bright light flashes and blinds us all. It is sucked away and we turn our eyes back down the hill. Scully is lying on her stomach. "Scully!," I yell. She stirs by the time I reach her and sits upright. "You ok," I ask looking her up and down. She nods and smooths her hair down. She looks over at me and gives me a funny look. "Aren't you supposed to be in the hospital?," she asks. My eyes widen and I lose my words. "Uh are Reyes and Doggett still in there?," I ask trying to distract her.  
  
"Yeah we all went in together. They are still in there," she says standing. Byars and the rest of the gunmen look at me. "Watch her," he sigh. They scream after me as I run towrd the vortex. Soon their screams can be heard no more and I am inside.  
  
I open my eyes to see that my father is at the grill fixing hamburgers. My mom is at the picnic table wearing a funny hat. Must be her birthday. Balloons flutter in the breeze and one pops. We all jump and then I turn around to see a car drive up on out curb. It's two FBI agents wearing coats which is ironic. It's like 70 degrees outside. I notice both of them when they get closer. One is Reyes and she has slightly shorter hair than she does now. The other is that jerk she used to work with, Burns.  
  
They walk up and Burns starts to talk. "Kristin can we see you a second," he asks. I turn around to look at my mother who waves me on. I walk over to them and we start toward their car. "How come you dropped the case we were working on. You knew how important it was to me," Burns whines. "Look I don't always have to be there holding your hands through every case. This one you two can figure out," I retort. "But you are the only one with medical background that can do the autopsy that we trust," Reyes sighs. "Yeah well I have something more important to do," I grunt.  
  
"What are we supposed to tell that little girls mother? That you decided that you wanted a break and dropped the case?," Burns yells. A harsh ringing hits my ears and radiates through my head. Pain is slowly creeping into my joints and settles around the bones. "What? None of this is real," I cry. "Your not real. Reyes, I mean Monica. You work in Washington D.C, with John Doggett on a project called the X files. I was sent to evaluate you," I explain. Reyes looks at me as if I am some abomanation.  
  
Tears swell in her eyes and she looks like I just punched her in the gut. She turns around swiftly and walks to the car and gets inside. "What the hell do you think that you are doing? You know that she doesn't like to talk about John," Burns whisphers angrily. "What are you talking about," I grunt. "John Doggett is dead. You watched him die Lawrence. I can't believe you are doing this," he sighs. He turns around and walks off. "You have to believe me!," I scream. The ringing in my head gets worse and pain courses through my body.  
  
I fall to my knees and lie on the ground. The clouds move by and cover the sun until only darkness is left.  
  
  
  
"Scully you better come look at this," Byars yells. I peek over the hill to see a gooey slime covering the hill. "Grab a sample bottle from the bag over there," I command. The slime washes in waves back and forth. Every current seems to get farther back. Frohike runs up and hands me a bottle. I put on some latex gloves and scoop some of the goo into the bottle. "It's going away," he pants. I look to see that it is almost gone. "Someone's coming out," I whispher. I push him back up the hill and barely manage to get ducked downm before the bright light flashes.  
  
Just as soon as it appears it is gone. I peek over the hill to see Reyes and Doggett lying side by side. Doggett raises up and looks around bewildered. Reyes doesn't move though. By the time I reach her I see that she is pale and has a slow pulse. "We have to get her to a hospital or she will die," I sigh. "Lawrence is still in there though and we only have one vehicle," Byars cries. "I'll stay here. You guys go and get Reyes to a hospital," Langly says. I hand him my gun. "Thanks," I sigh. Doggett is fully aware of where he is at now and doesn't seem to be badly hurt. He picks up Reyes and carries her to the car. I hope that we get her there in time.  
  
  
  
40 Minuets later  
  
I got Reyes to the hospital and we were able to get her stablized. I am close to the clearing when another bright light flashes. "Oh crap not now," I pant. I practically fly through the trees to get to the clearing. When I get there Lawrence is lying on her back in a pool of blood. Langly is doing CPR and pretty much freaking out. "What's all the blood for Langly?," I question. "I don't know. It's not Lawrence's. It appeared a little bit before she was spit out," he cries. I check for a pulse and find a very faint one. Lawrence's skin is icy cold and her lips are a pale blue. Her face is white and if one didn't know better they would say she was dead.  
  
"Let's get her out of here," I groan picking her up. Langly grabs her legs and we manage to make it through the trees and to the car. If I don't hurry faster this time, I will have a dead body in the back of my car quick. I go about eighty on the highway. Luckily I don't get pulled over though. Doctors are standing outside ready to take Krsitin when my car pulls up. They fling the doors open and lift her onto the gurney. I run alongside but am shoved away by another doctor.  
  
"This is for authorized personel only Ms. Scully. I need you to step back and go to the waiting room," the head ER doctor yells above the panic going on in the room. He's not really a Noah Wylie type. More of a Anthony Edwards. A little red headed women runs past us. If I wasn't already going nuts, I would bet all the money in the world that Laura Innes just flew past. I shake my head and look up to the doctor. "Yeah sure. Just keep me up to date with her condition," I nod.  
  
He jogs to the ER room and the swinging doors close. Nurses and doctors surround Kristin's body and I can't see her. They have the paddles out which tells me that her heart must have stopped. They shock her and her body rises off the table. "What are you doing here," a voice from behind me says. I turn around to see Monica sitting on her elbows looking back at me. She has been stacked in the hall because of the lack of rooms I guess. I run over to her and grab her hand. She squeezes it tightly.  
  
"Where's Kristin?," she whisphers. I look down at the tiled floor. Her hand comes to my face and she brings my head up. "Dana be honest with me," she sighs. My lip quivers and tears form in my eyes. What do I tell her? Well Monica, she was lying in a pool of blood that is arguably not hers but it is not out of question. And did I mention my last vision of her was when she was shocked with 200 joules of electricity and her body was rising off of a gurney?  
  
"I don't know if she is alive. I might have been too late," I whispher. She ducks her head and nods. "I knew that something bad would happen," she sighs. "I had this dream." A nurse walks up. "We have you a room now Ms. Reyes." She nods and looks at me. I smile weakly and watch them roll her to the elevator.  
  
Room 188  
  
I got a double room because the two occupants just in here died. I love the way life is so conforting. My curtain is closed and I can't see what's going on beside me. Someone has just been rolled in I guess. I fling open the curtain to see Kristin. A doctor has blood and plasma running into one arm and another IV with saline in the other. She looks dead. I sigh and the doctor turns around.  
  
"You need to lie back down Monica. Your still not fully recovered," he says to me. When I walk over to Kristin he makes no move to stop me. "So this is your partner," he smiles. I nod and he shakes his head. "We almost lost her. I guess you already know that though," he sighs. I nod again and he continues to speak. "She's in a comma right now but I am sure if you talk to her she can hear you," he smiles. I walk over and grab her hand. It is as cold as ice and I breath on it heavily as if to warm it up.  
  
"Don't stay up to late," the doctor sighs. He walks out the door and leaves me with Kristin. "Please God," I whispher,"Don't let her die."  
  
  
  
One week later  
  
For the last ten minuets I had been counting tiles on the ceiling. After I got bored with that I moved on to conquering another mystery- how many stripes were on the wall. I had awoke to see sunshine filtering through the curtains. I think that I pressed the nurse button twelve times before a nurse actually came to close them. I heard her call my a vampire before she left the room. I knew I always hates hospitals.  
  
I hear rapid footsteps on the tiles outside my door.Two shadows cover the opening."What have you been telling this kid! She's talking nonsense in there about some parallel world where your fantasies and deepest desires come true. She's also saying this voodoo vortex slowly sucked the life out of you. That it fed on happiness and satisfaction,"Follomer yells outside. Must be to Reyes. he's like that with her though. He expects to get a little from her then treat her like dirt. He's such a prick.  
  
I told the nurses to keep him out of my room. He's the last person I wanted to listen to on my death bed. Besides he'd be a major contributor to the fact that I would be lying six feet under.  
  
Outside the room  
  
"I don't have time to listen to this," I yell at him. "Where is she?," I ask Scully. She points and I enter the room. Kristin is hooked up to an oxygen tank and both IV's remain in her arm. Her visage is pale and her lips are slightly blue. If you didn't know by her heart moniter you would say that she was dead. I walk over to her and grab her hand. Her eyes flutter open. "Hey there," I smile. She nods and elevates the bed.  
  
"How do you feel?," I ask. "Like I had a mob of twenty people beat my body to a pulp," she smiles weakly. "How about you?"  
  
"I only went in twice so there wasn't much wrong," I say. She nods and we sit quiet for a few minuets. "It was like a drug. The more I got the more I wanted. I was determied to get everything out of this expierence and I think it sorta backfired on me. It got everything out of me," she sighs. "It's not everyday that I get to see my parents," she adds.  
  
I duck my head. I vaguely remember her saying something a while back about her parents. She had all this hurt and anger inside her and she nearly killed herself trying to be part of a world she couldn't live in. "If I had a million more chances to see them, I'd let that thing suck the life out of me a million more times," she tells me.  
  
"You have to value life more than that," I snap at her. "I do dammit. But you don't understand what that meant to me. You never could," she says. I don't say anything and she can tell I got mad. There is silence and only the noise of the heart moniter fills the room. "On a lighter note," she says raising her voice,"What did you see?" She smiles and I feel a blush coming on.  
  
I don't think I want to go there again with her. She laughs coarsly. "Musta been good," she smiles again.  
  
2 weeks later  
  
"She's doing fine. I've been taking care of her to see how she did. Doctors just released her yesterday and she's pretty much back to normal," I tell John. "Good to hear. Anyway I'll see you when you get back," he says. "Yeah when I get back," I sigh punching the phone off. "Can I go get some juice?,"Kristin sighs walking up. "You feel like it?," I question. She cuts me a glare and I throw her the keys. "Be back in a bit," she sighs.  
  
15 minuets later  
  
  
  
I'm almost out of breath from running. Pine trees smack me in the face and rocks crumble under my feet. "Please let it be there," I pant. My eyes decend to my GPS. I'm almost there. I take a few more steps and enter the clearing. I stick my hand out but nothing happens. "Huh?," I cry. My body lunges forward and I get the same results as before...nothing. "Oh man," I sigh moving my hands around frantically. It's gone.  
  
It's really gone. All my chances of seeing my parents again are gone. "Vigile Morturum," I pant in the cold air. It translates to "vigil of the dead." That's all that I expierenced. I feel this funny feeling throughout my body. It's crazy how have funny feelings after something like this. Hopefully this thing disappeared just in time to save my life.  
  
  
  
Washington D.C.  
  
December 24,2003  
  
"Lightbulbs. How thoughtful Kristin," Reyes sighs. I laugh along with Doggett and Scully. "I know what she is talking about when she says dark. That basement is depressing,"Scully smiles. "Good to know things never change," she adds. I hand her some more punch."No actually this is your real present," I say handing Reyes another package. "Huh?," she says.  
  
"You saved my ass and I figure that gets you some major brownie points," I smile. She rips the package and I look towards the door. A manilla envelope is slipped under the door. On the front it has big letters reading "Scully." I grab it and walk over to the couch. "Thanks for the book! I've looked everywhere for this!," Reyes smiles. "Yeah no prob. Special delivery Scully," I smile.  
  
"Thanks for saying you liked my package. Great to hear that someone likes me. Love you lots, Frohike," Scully sighs. She withdraws a disk that says "The Mulder Files." I look at her and she covers it up. "You told him I talk about him didn't you," she grunts. "Uh maybe," I smile. "Death to you," she smiles walking out the door. "Ah...been there, done that," I say following her. "You kids have a nice night," I smile to Reyes and Doggett. They nod and wave.  
  
"Well I best be going too Monica," John smiles standing up. I walk him to the door and he stops looking up. "Uh oh," he smiles. I look up to see that we are standing under mistletoe. He smiles again at me and then leans in. He kisses me softly and more a long time. When he backs away I smile. "Have a nice night Monica," he says. "Yeah you too John," I reply laning against my doorframe.  
  
  
  
Conclusion  
  
  
  
Is death the only way to see those that have gone before us? Do they not appear as apparations and touch the heart of the believer? Does love only survive in the fires of this world or does it travel through time, still bewitching the one who had the feeling all along?  
  
Our hearts ache, long for that which we can not obtain. As humans we are afraid of that which makes us our very being. Scared of rejection of the one which we desire most. Feelings and instincts are left in the dust by the fearful lover.  
  
The simple fact remains. The heart wants what the heart wants. Let us strive to become the person who stands up for the way they feel and never lets the world shake the very foundations from which it was built on. Let the fire inside us all burn and never let it be extinguished.  
  
-Kristin Lawrence,  
  
December 27, 2003  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Endnote:All characters that do not exist already on the X files were based on people in my life. The teachers that I wrote about touched my life profoundly and I figured that since they were so cool I'd add them to this fic.Of course I changed their names because it would be suicide if I exposed their true identity. Kristin Lawrence is based on my actions and is to be what I percieve as my mirror image. I needed to create something that I could bring to life and lose myself in. Personally what I'm going through right now is "Just shit"(Trevor in Pay it Foward). I had to create something that was way better than what I had. All feedback is greatly accepted. And to all those who send crap e mails-I was merely expressing the desire to create a storyline of my own. If you can top what I have written,please by all means do it. I love a good read just like the next person. 


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